The first tattoo I ever got, I looked for a tattoo artist, the first place I went to has an amazing reputation, the quality of work that comes out of there is fantastic… I just didn’t feel it. It was too much like…well…the tattoo shops your mom told you about when she was trying to convince you that getting a tattoo would limit your future career prospects to being a biker, sailor, or pirate.
It took me a couple of tries to find a store that would fit, another store I wanted to go to was booked up months in advance…and when you’re making an expensive, highly permanent and potentially painful decision, you don’t want months to think about it. You want it right away so that every time you get out of the shower for a fortnight you can freak out that the blank canvas on your back will never be the same.
I ended up going to a place where a friend of mine got one of her tattoos. Before my appointment, I read every article ever written about tattoos… ever. And when I ran out of legitimate reading material I went to Yahoo Answers to see what crazy answers people had given to tattoo-based questions]. Do you want to know the best way to make yourself instantly fearful of what millions of people go through on a daily basis? Check it out on Yahoo Answers. From the people who brought you “Q: I can’t stop sneezing. A: You have cancer.” comes “Q: Will a tattoo hurt? A: Yes. Your arms will fall off trying to escape the searing pain and torment. A: God will punish you for desecrating his temple.” Impressive.
Lying in bed waiting for it to start, I was silently freaking out: 2 friends had come with me, so I was putting up a strong, stoic front as a small version of myself ran screaming inside my brain as I awaited the impending torment. The quiet hysteria, only compounded by the ominous whine of the gun, dissipated the second the needle struck.
Anticlimax.
Let me be the first person in internet history to tell you that my first tattoo didn’t hurt. You can feel it traveling through your skin, you can feel it vibrating your lungs as it travels over your ribs. It feels amazing. I can also take this moment to tell you that I am also the only person in the history of the Internet who enjoyed the experience of being tattooed for an hour and a half for the first time. Yes. I have problems.
The actual tattoo is a passage in Sanskrit from the Bhagavadgita: That (the Atman, the soul) is not born, nor does it die, nor is it that having been, it will not be again. Born, ancient, eternal, everlasting; it is not killed with the death of the body.
Perhaps it was the lack of agony, fire and brimstone that made him feel even less hurt than he potentially could have. Never mind, as with many things, the blissful absence of hurt and pain has given way to a nice, healthy addiction. It is not problematic, I do not need to join an association with the prefix “Anonymous”. I just feel that by having more tattoos, my life will be culturally enriched by being surrounded by works of art that I will be able to admire until the end of time. As with any addiction, though I am being held back by finances. I mean it’s a tough decision…whether to save hundreds of dollars to spend on 4 hours of ink or to buy a couple of Tributes…
So I’m pretty sure I’m not going to be a biker or a sailor.
However, the jury is still out on pirate.