One of the most significant things about success is that it affects every aspect of your life. Your level of success determines the way you talk, the house you live in, the places you go, the way you dress, the things you eat, etc. Your relationship with others is also affected or determined by your level of success. Birds of a feather flock together. People are expected to identify with those who have the same level of success as them in friendly relationships. That is why friendship is always better between people of the same level.
There can be no strong or cordial friendship between unequals, whatever the criteria by which inequality is judged. Even interactions between blood relatives are negatively affected by differences in their levels of achievement. Also, among young men and women, one’s level of success is an important factor in selecting a potential spouse. A successful person, all other things being equal, naturally desires a successful (or at least potentially successful) person for a spouse. This is the reason why educated people usually marry other educated people.
The statement that there can be no strong or cordial friendship between unequals has been questioned by some attendees of my seminars. It has also been questioned by some people during informal discussions. However, I still hold to this point of view due to some observations and practical experiences. For example, regardless of the relationship level between a billionaire and a poor person, the former cannot reveal the amount of money he earns in business to the latter for various reasons, since he may risk the relationship.
For example, doing so may make the poor person jealous. In addition, such information may lead the poor person to make unreasonable financial demands on their wealthy friend or relative. The relationship can eventually break if the request is not granted for any reason. This is one of the reasons why the rich hide information about their financial success from the poor, no matter how close they are to them. I sincerely believe that this observation validates the truth that there can be no intimacy between unequals.
Also, communication is usually more effective between people with the same level of life and success, since their experiences are (most likely) similar. For example, the discussion of married life between a married man and a bachelor, a married woman and a spinster, or a married person and a divorcee will be from different perspectives. This also applies to the discussion between rich and poor, an owner and a tenant, a man and a woman, an adult and a child, an employer and an employee, a worker and a retiree, etc.
The place of success in human relationships should not be difficult to understand because people’s lives are under the irresistible influence of their relationships; hence the popular expression, “Tell me your friend and I’ll tell you the type of person you are.” Associating with people above you has the tendency to help you grow taller in life, if you are willing to do so. Similarly, engaging with people below you has a tendency to drag you down, if you’re not careful. That’s why you should be mindful of your relationships.
Your life is under the influence of the relationships you maintain. Your relationships are among the factors that will determine whether you will succeed or fail in life. That is why there is usually a correlation between the level of success of people and their relationships with people. In fact, your companions determine what you are and what accompanies you. You shouldn’t expect to have focus in life if your closest friends are people who don’t have focus. Your choice of friendship influences or determines your destiny in life.