Every now and then, you come across a book that really makes you “think” and maybe even “change the way you think.” “Unlocking Leadership Mind Traps: How To Thrive In Complexity” by Jennifer Garvey Berger was that book for me.
My first introduction to Jennifer was through an online course I recently took (The Art of Developmental Coaching). Jennifer was one of the instructors and I found her very engaging and very insightful in her perspectives and facts regarding adult development and leadership.
To quote Jennifer Garvey Berger:
“We are living in this strange and paradoxical time in our world where the ever-increasing complexity around us could lead us to grow faster, more compassionately, and closer together, or it could lead us to become more defensive, closed, tough, and smaller. . “
There is no doubt that the world in which we work and live is complex and increasingly complex. But just as we must deal with complexity “out there” or external to ourselves, we are challenged to understand and deal with complexity “here” and internal to ourselves.
In Jennifer’s book, she refers to 5 mind traps. The premise is that we act as if the world is simple when in reality the world is quite complex. Recognizing these mental traps within ourselves helps us see things through a larger lens and provides us with greater resources to deal with real complexity.
These are the 5 mind traps:
1. Simple stories: we love our stories. Stories often have a beginning, middle, and end and are full of heroes and villains. Often times, we are the hero of the story and the other person is the villain. Our decisive nature seeks shortcuts, which is why history is riddled with our beliefs and prejudices. But simple stories keep us small and assume a certain outcome based on the past. One way to expand beyond our story is to consider the other person in the story. How could they be considered a hero?
2. Correction – Our sense of being “right” allows our decision, but on the other hand it can kill curiosity and candor. You can even confuse feeling good with being right. Ask yourself “what do I believe in and how can I be wrong?” There are always two sides to a situation – exploring the other side is good practice. Make sure you listen carefully to learn rather than win or fix things.
3. Agreement: We are programmed to be connected with other people. The agreement fulfills our desire for belonging and connection. Sometimes we want to belong so much that we minimize our difference of opinion. We are oriented not to be socially disconnected because the pain of being left out is experienced in the same way as physical pain in the body. To release this mental trap, consider how conflict could serve to deepen a relationship. Or how disagreeing can lead to broader thinking and ideas.
4. Control – Our sense of being in control is directly related to our feeling of happiness. In fact, our being in control and being perceived by others as being in control is often equated with good leadership. However, sometimes great leadership requires us to stop controlling to allow for better results, especially in complexity. Ask yourself: What can I help enable instead of what can I make happen? Or what could enable me / us?
5. Ego: our sense of who we are helps us function with a purpose. The person we are now is the culmination of our thoughts, experiences, beliefs, up to this point in our journey. However, the problem is that we protect the person we are now from the person we become. We think we’ve changed in the past, but for some reason it probably won’t change much in the future. This leads us to want to protect the person we think we are. For true personal growth to happen, we must pay attention to the map of our own development and ask ourselves “who would I like to be next?”