Many recovering people who begin the process of becoming clean and sober harbor the idea that they may continue to cling to some remnants of an old drinking / consuming lifestyle. Often times, they initially believe that specific medications are the problem. Initially, alcoholics / addicts may not find the use of other drugs (including alcohol) problematic. When the idea of being addicted to all mood-altering drugs comes up, the idea is often dismissed as not applicable. Denial and lack of knowledge make the use of other historical drugs, or even recently used drugs to “help overcome” a drug problem, seem unimportant. When addicts compare the impact of the most recent drug of choice in their lives with other drug episodes, the other drugs probably pale in comparison.
These comparisons often do not take into account the impact of “disease progression.” Progression is the increasingly damaging course addiction takes over time. Progression generally involves tolerance. The progression of the disease is not only marked by an increase in the use of the chemical, but is marked by an accumulation of negative consequences. These negative consequences tend to become larger and more frequent. The progression of the disease is succinctly summed up in an old proverb that goes like this: “A man takes a drink. The drink takes a drink. The drink takes the man.”
Many of those who make the decision to stay clean and sober cling to the hope that they can continue using “other drugs” without negative consequences. The idea of living drug-free, though often unfathomable at first. However, continuing to hold on to those stale, counter-therapeutic and non-recovery thoughts is leaving yourself more vulnerable to relapse. To help challenge any memories and distorted beliefs you may still have about your relationship with drugs, use the Cross Addiction Worksheet. You have six items or questions that ask you to remember your use / abuse of other drugs and to look for connections between your relationship with those other drugs and your continued vulnerability to relapse. Only three of the worksheet items are shown here.
Cross addiction worksheet
1. Start at the beginning of your use of alcohol and other drugs. Develop a timeline in which you write down your first use of alcohol and / or other drugs, how much of what you used, how often, and any memories of problems or negative consequences from that use (even if you didn’t make the connection between drinking / consume and the consequences at that time).
Example:
“1971 10th grade I started smoking marijuana; I smoked marijuana only on weekends; my best friend stopped dating me because he didn’t smoke marijuana and he didn’t like that I was smoking marijuana. Mom found stash. He was grounded for a month.” .
“1972 11th grade: smoking marijuana every day, drinking alcohol on weekends, getting drunk. I started skipping school and got caught several times, and suspended each time. On land. Parents took the car. They collided with the car at a party. The car insurance disappeared. Upstairs. While drinking, I was trying to impress a girl and I made a fool of myself. “
Follow this timeline to this day, taking into account any DUI / DWI, public intoxication charges, other arrests, school suspensions, loss of relationships, dropping out of school and other activities, theft, pharmaceutical drug use, parents of friends who do not let them hang out with you because you are a “bad influence”, overdose, close situations with shipwrecks, being in dangerous places with dangerous people at dangerous times, starting projects that you do not finish, loss of ambition / goals, etc.
2. Name the medications you have chosen most recently. Identify the roles the chemical has recently played in your life. Did you drink or use other drugs to be more outgoing, to avoid feeling feelings, to reduce stress, to help you sleep at night, to forget problems or events? Write a list of “things” you used the chemical for. Look back at your use of other drugs (including alcohol) and identify other drugs you used for the same purposes.
3. Addiction exists in a social and cultural context. Alcoholics / addicts tend to choose people for their “friendship networks” who use alcohol and other drugs the way they do. Make a list of people with whom you have used alcohol and other drugs. Name the drugs you took with these friends / acquaintances. Identify which of the people on this list have been part of your most recent group of drinking / drinking friends. What drugs are they likely to have? Who on this list has decided not to be present for recovery? Which ones were involved in your use of other drugs at other times in your life. Which people on the list have a link to their old choice drugs or other drugs? Who, on your lists, should you avoid?
Remember that addiction is a brain disease that manifests itself in the compulsive use of drugs that alter the mood or mind. It is chronic. It last for ever. It cannot be cured. Once you are addicted, you cannot go back to “social use.” It’s a compelling fantasy that keeps a recovering person vulnerable to relapse.