Interestingly, one of the most common times for a man to cheat in a marriage is in the weeks and months after the birth of his first child. It seems like such a strange time to have an affair, but for many men it is exactly when they first cheat on their wives. Because right now? Why cheat at a time when they should be celebrating a new life together?
The center of your universe changes
Believe it or not, for many men it comes down to the fact that their center of the universe has changed. The moment she found out about her baby, her life was centered on one thing only: the child she is expecting. You start making plans, choosing nursery furniture, and knitting baby booties. Suddenly, it is no longer the center of your universe and you are not ready to deal with it.
When the baby arrives, there is a mixed reaction of “hooray!” and “oh no!” to keep it tied for quite some time. He loves you both, but he really feels out of his element right now. Unfortunately, new moms are so busy and tired that they rarely have time (or attention span for that matters) to notice subtle changes in their husbands. Many never find out until it’s too late.
Body changes and a new perspective
Another common problem that leads to love affairs after the birth of a baby is the fact that many men suddenly view their wives differently. Fortunately, this is not universal, but it is common enough to be problematic for many marriages.
The problem is that once you have had a baby, you have become someone’s mother. For some men, that resemblance between you and their own mother is too much for him to even consider touching you now that you’ve had his baby.
Unfortunately, that doesn’t change the way either of you feel about the other. He can love you so much and still cheat on you. Most men who cheat for this reason do not do so for lack of love. They cheat because they still have needs, but now they can’t turn to you to meet those needs.
Waiting for you to heal
No matter what the doctor says, there are times when husbands think you shouldn’t be cured yet. Some men rush home at the first opportunity, while others linger and delay. He still has needs and another woman is likely ready to pounce and offer to meet those needs, but the bottom line is that you have her bright and sunny newborn so she will be back with you.