Sometimes I hear from women who are dealing with a double whammy. Not only have they just found out that their husband has been cheating on them, but they have found out that their husband has been cheating on them or they are having an affair with one of his friends. This can feel like betrayal multiplied because two people you cared about acted behind your back in this way. It is very common for wives to say that they imagine the two of them laughing at her or pitying her behind her back. Because this is so painful, many wives are puzzled as to why their husband would choose one of his girlfriends to cheat with.
I heard of a wife who said, “Of all the women in our town, why did my husband have to choose one of my friends to have an affair with? this out. One of my friends is so pretty and bubbly and gorgeous. My husband knows that I feel insecure around this woman. He knows that even though my friend and I are very close, I am a little jealous of her. In short, This is the worst woman I could have chosen, in terms of how much she would hurt me. I just don’t get it because now she says the last thing she wanted to do was hurt me. But I can’t believe this. Because by choosing her, she’s sure she’ll hurt me. they will hurt the most.Why do men choose to cheat on their wife’s friends?I will try to address these concerns in the next article.
Often, there is no real intrigue involved. Although they will tell you that it “just happened”, it is often a matter of proximity: Husbands often claim that they never intended to cheat on one of their wife’s friends. And sometimes this is true. Often the husband has spent a lot of time with the friend and is therefore comfortable with her. As a result, things don’t feel as inappropriate when they start to joke around or begin to develop a closer friendship. And this friendship is usually possible because of the proximity between them. In other words, this is not a person her husband would rarely see. This is not a chance or chance encounter with a stranger. It’s probably someone he considers a friend because you consider her. And then things get out of hand or inappropriate. Believe me when I say that I am not trying to make excuses for the husband or the friend. There is no excuse as far as I’m concerned. But I’m trying to put this in context for you.
Sometimes the “friend” will go after the husband because of silly games: It is not uncommon for a so-called friend to persecute her friend’s husband. Some women are very competitive with other women. They don’t feel complete until they think they are the prettiest, most seductive, and most powerful woman in their group of friends. And sometimes when such a woman sees another woman’s husband, she focuses on him as something she must conquer in order to feel superior to her friend. Is this evil, immature and psychologically unhealthy? Absolutely. But unfortunately, it sometimes happens with some particularly malicious women. Does this excuse the husband for his part in this? Absolutely not. I could have said no. But knowing that he was not the aggressor can also put this in perspective.
Some men try to hurt their wives by cheating on them with their friends: I can’t tell you that men never cheat on their wife’s friends as a way to get back at her or to hurt her. This happens sometimes. But usually, you’ll know this was your intention all along because you literally want to get caught. This was not the case here. Also, when you catch him or confront him, he will almost enjoy the whole situation. Not only that, but their marriage will usually be pretty volatile in the days, months, or weeks leading up to the infidelity, so the husband is looking for a way to really hurt her or make an impact. He often tries to show you that if you don’t appreciate or see the value in him, then someone whose opinion you seem to value feels differently. Again, that was not the case here. But I mentioned this possibility to let you know that some husbands specifically choose the other woman because they know she is the one who will hurt the most.
In short, there are several reasons why a man would want to cheat on one of his wife’s friends. Convenience, familiarity, and mind games are just a few of the reasons. I’m listing these reasons to give you an idea, but I don’t think any of them are valid for cheating. That said, I know couples who have been able to save their marriages in this situation. It often requires a great deal of hard work and patience. And it often requires the so-called friend to be permanently out of the picture.